I have talked about living with depression and anxiety before but I haven’t really talked about the symptoms that are associated with them or at least the embarrassing ones. Any of the symptoms associated with these mental illnesses can be and probably will be very debilitating but when you suffer from some of the more embarrassing ones, that debilitating feeling becomes one hundred times worse. They can turn your life upside down that little bit quicker and make that day so much harder than it already is. I have experienced a fair few of these symptoms myself and still deal with some of them to this day. There is nothing worse than not being able to control your mind or your body.
- Crying in public
Not knowing when you might start crying in horrid and then when it happens while you are in public just makes you feel pathetic
- Shaking uncontrollably
This comes with a few other symptoms or mannerisms that just make the whole experience worse. It’s especially horrid if you are standing up and talking to a person or people when the shaking starts
- Needing to urinate every five minutes
This is especially annoying when you are in a car or in a public place
- Needing to defecate whilst in public.
This is worsened if you have a huge fear of needing to go in a public place
- Not showering
I have gone days without showering and I know how gross I feel but I just don’t have the energy or motivation to get up and do it
- Not brushing your hair
- Not brushing your teeth
- Not remembering important information/things
I still deal with this. Gilly says it’s more because my brain is already very full so it ignores the stuff that isn’t that important to me and keeps the good stuff
- Not being able to form words quickly enough in a conversation or even when someone says hello
Oh, do I struggle with this! I’ll be at work and someone will say hi to me and I will just smile because I couldn’t say hello back quick enough
- Not remembering words in general
I will be having a conversation with someone and while I am in the middle of saying something I forget the word needed and then I can’t think of another word that means the same thing. I usually end up remembering as soon as they leave or the conversation is over.
- Not being able to form a sentence
This falls in a bit with the previous two points but falling over your words when trying to ask for something, be witty or just trying to be apart of a conversation makes you feel pretty lame and kind of stupid
- Not eating proper food
I still do this now, especially if I have had a bad day. I will only eat what is already made. I won’t bother making a sandwich or even a bowl of cereal because it’s too much hassle. I will end up eating chocolate or just dry bread on some occasions
- Having a panic attack before entering a building, no matter what’s inside
- Low sex drive or having no interest in sex whatsoever
- Not cleaning – anything
I’m not just talking about yourself, I’m talking about the whole house, the dishes, the laundry, everything.
- Having no energy to do anything
I have had days where I have just watched TV on my laptop in bed. I didn’t move except to eat or have a cigarette
- Hating people/jobs/situations/places and yourself when you are criticised or told you have done something wrong or said the wrong thing
- Feeling like you want to kill yourself every time something goes wrong or you have a bad day
- Hating yourself for failing to function like a normal person
- Getting motivated to change and then next minute you have lost all of that motivation
I deal with this daily. I usually lie in bed and get motivated to change something or clean something and by morning that motivation is all gone.
- Hoarding in general
I used to hoard tickets, leaflets, bookmarks, paper, anything that had something written on it basically. I actually kept receipts from everything even though they had no value to them at all
- Getting cold sweats in bed
- Not changing clothes for days at a time
- Sleeping between 10 and 20 hours at a time and then still being tired
- Getting angry at everyone else because they are happy and their happy disposition makes you annoyed
- Having to explain to people how you got those scars
- Napping every chance you get
These are just some of the more embarrassing things we deal with daily but there are a lot more that affect us. Some of these can’t be seen but in our minds, they are as real as the sun and the stars. If you or someone you know is suffering from any mental illness, please seek help. There are hundreds of organisations, support groups and doctors who deal with mental illness and can help you get your life back on track. Support is key to getting better!
Have anything else to add to the list? Have you experienced any of these symptoms? Tell me in the comments below.